Puzzles and Piece

Posted: December 31, 2011 by Ankur in Writes...
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As we struggle to make sense of things, life looks on in repose – Anonymous

Truly, all our lives we try to make sense of all those things which life kept hurling toward us as soon as we see hope, think that we might have finally reached very close to unravel the mystery we fall into a deeper vortex and loose ourselves again hopelessly in that void. Nothing in life ever makes sense to us …since the very beginning when the day light falling on our naive dreams pry in our fantasies to the day they do away with our mortal remains. As kids we always think of growing up .Thinking of the world beyond those four walls and garden .Imagining it as a realm which we dreamed of conquering one day .The day “When I grow up” we’d say with an innocent gleam in our eyes. 
The same gleam glinted in our tears a few years later when we realized that the world wasn’t what it seemed from the sweetness of childhood. It wasn’t the dream that we sought it was reality waiting for us .As soon as it turned its face towards us we were afraid out of our wits and knew nothing. Were left with no places to run off to. Had no embrace strong and assuring enough to hide us. And that was the moment when the life crashed like a huge jigsaw puzzle. We kept looking for the pieces and struggle to keep them together while life looked on in repose. Some went spiralling down in the labyrinth of drugs and addiction that destroyed them further. Some still try while others gave up too easily. 
It’s happiness when we find a piece, its sadness when we lose one, it’s depressing when it won’t fit no matter how badly we want it to and sometimes we just wait for that one piece that we think will complete our puzzle. Some get lucky and get it and for some it’s the eternal wait. The pieces or the people can be pretty puzzling themselves. Some people we fall in love with will not think of us in the same way. To some we won’t mean as much as they mean to us. While to others who are hopelessly in love with us we will not return anything but pain and hurt. A few will remain who they were while others won’t stop changing their shapes. 
A few of them change your life, sparkle it with happiness and gusto while others sniff away even the last remnant of joy and leave your life darkling like those dark nights you always dread. Life can be pretty sadistic too apart from being senseless at times. Like a big bully it will topple everything upside down leaving us bereaved and in those mournful moments it will introduce a new piece that will help us in setting everything right again. 
That piece either stays if you are very fortunate or leave you bereft cursing the weird game of life once again. Those are the moments that anguish you. You spend night after night thinking what went wrong, you replay that precise moment of separation over and over again trying to understand what went wrong and what was that you could have done but you didn’t?

That’s one aspect it’s for those who drive themselves into delirium because of their own emotional excessiveness. There are some practical folks out there too who concentrate on the puzzle rather than the pieces like that “bigger scene” strategy. They have one dream since the beginning and all their life they chase it. Through nth hardships, turbulence some finally make it till the end other find their way round, some having lost everything in that chase can’t feel it anymore and to something everything that they lost comes back to them in grandeur but there are some who gets disillusioned and cut their own chase down one silent night they go off the ledge, drain the poisoned chalice down their throat and bid their final adieus the irony is most of the times they give up when they are standing on the last step.

There are people who know so much about something while they have never experienced it and there are those who have been experiencing it for so long and yet are unable to explain it. People who don’t realise what they had until they lose it and people who don’t realise what they deserve until they get it. Some go around with a huge smile on their face and wrists with scars. Spreading happiness with sadness instilled deep within their heart. Some are born free with angelic wings born to fly high while there are clowns and clappers dancing for others in the sawdust ring. Living in ghettos sleeping under the moon light thinking of the cities and gleaming lights and the insomniac kings looking at the moon and heaving deep sighs. Then there are those benevolent kinds who help others while they are clueless about theirs. And then lastly there are those who look for a lonely spot from where they can see everyone solving their puzzles they write about them. They understan d a few things, unravel a few mysteries but then they can’t reach out to the world and the things that they write about …when it happens to them they simply don’t know what to with it. They fail to follow what they preach because philosophy is oblivion of practicality. 
They fall silent, they are the anonymous you read they are those pieces who do not belong to any puzzle or the jigsaw they were a part was shattered so bad that remaking it seems an impossible task. They go around like those leaves struck from the autumn scape. They travel in and out of people’s life leaving their imprints you won’t remember where they came from and you won’t notice them missing .But only thing that will matter is the evanescence touch…

Dimple Negi

University of Delhi

dimplenegi13@gmail.com

Comments
  1. Aashi says:

    Very true..

  2. Dimple Negi says:

    awwww thnk u. wish ya a happy new year 🙂

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