Continue to Live…

Posted: April 27, 2012 by Ankur in Writes...
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For the past twenty years dont know what have i done with my life that today i dont know what i want..In my childhood always went in flow with what mom and dad wanted, never got a moment to think what i want, what is best for me, how the way i wanted to live n now here i am confused who i am what exactly i want, how to fight for myself, got this old burden of following other’s thoughts, bored and sick of taking advice from people…i am innocent i take time to understand things because never had anyone in my who tried to make me overpower my innocence and learn things in a right way…

Everybody misunderstood me somewhere where i never expected them to do so… I dont know other people’s part but i know have never found place in anybody’s life the way i wanted..Its not my fault but people’s bad luck that they take my nature in the picture of characterless girl..My heart is open like sky where black clouds come and disappear, h ave never any grudge against anyone…have always been neutral to everyone be it my friend, acquaintance or an enemy the meaning of which i never get…

Sounds stupid but true and what i see beyond me is that people make me their enemy without knowing anything… I have happily accepted whatever came in the course of my life…got up independent learning to live… break… fall… survive. Whats wrong in trying to live without any fantasies, expectations, forcing people to accept you… to love you… Their choice and now I am no one to run behind people and then bruise my own heart…

At one point of time human company for me was supportive… Felt that can keep myself and that person happy… but now its like I am too scared of people… it gives me shivers till inside…

But now no longer like this… Here i am now adamant to protecting myself… Again learning to live…

Shrutikah Gupta

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