As he sat alone in his gloomy room with his knees pulled up to his chest. He leaned against the wall and with blurred vision he stared suspiciously at his own reflection in the mirror. The person in the mirror wasn’t the one he had known for years. Once used to be lively his eyes were horrifically bulging out and were hauntingly red as if he’d been awake since god knows when. They had a far distant look as if searching for answers which had no questions. His shoulders were dropped to earth and he looked terribly tired and restless. He looked weak. His face had the most grief stricken look he had ever seen in his mirror in himself. He looked so forlorn, so empty like the life had been sucked out of him. The blend of every possible feeling of grief, pain, anxiety and remorse made him bereft of hope, bereft of life. He wondered in himself, how on earth he has come to this lifeless state.
In the same sombre room where he had made the worst decisions of his life, where he found and lost his love, where he left himself, never to be found in the middle of nowhere.. He gazed past the window at the glorious and endless sky. It was like the garden of stars and a silver moon. It was not the beauty of the blue hour that lured away his thoughts but the memories that were attached with them at his falling in love stage. He was lost in the reverie on spur of the moment. The reverie took him from the tender embrace of his love to the grave of grief’s he’d excavated for himself, from the fool’s paradise to the hell of a wise. He’d never ever realised before that wandering back to past can be so painful. They only made him sob and laugh hysterically, making him toss and turn on his bed in the utter madness. Some brought smile and some tears. It wasn’t the grief of losing her that ceased his heart and emotions but the remorse of having brought t he pain and tears to the eyes which were windows to her pure soul. Which he swore never to do. That’s what ceases his life. Remorse. The souls and the ghosts left him alone in dark. He made himself acquainted with his own pain. For nothing could ease his pain but the pain itself.
He drifted back to the time he had surrendered his heart to hers and named every ounce of his love to be of only hers. She was his dream that then turned true. The wait of six months, fourteen days and five hours had made him, head over heels, fall deeper in love with her. “Yes, I love you too”, made his heart skip so many countless beats. The most beautiful time had just begun for him obviously with the love of his life finally being with him.
Saif Sheikh
'Campus Writing' 