I Miss You……

Posted: April 13, 2013 by Ankur in Writes...
Tags: , ,

Some memories never fade. They last forever, as a powerful essence of life reliving themselves at every possible moment. The heart is overwhelmed with the memories that were a joy, but now they only serve the purpose of bringing tears. Folks say, all is forgotten someday. Yet why can’t I forget you? Why can’t I just go on and get busy with my life and just remember you occasionally when somebody would just recall you and your memories. Am I weak? Or am I too attached with the past? I am simply perplexed. Folks say this too, that Time heals everything. I want to ask, does it? The truth that I firmly believe now, is that some people were too dear to be forgotten, some moments can never be fade and some memories can never be erased while one is still alive.

I rested on your lap while I was a merry kid at ten, taking in your sweet scent, a motherly one that was more soothing than anything in the world. I heard those horror stories from you which seem so comical now. I loved to eat even the blandest food from your hands, the food that doesn’t seem to pass down my food pipe now. I savoured the joy of sleeping with you at nights and to talk for endless hours about nothing special, mostly nonsense. Now I understand, there was no one like you who could stand those nonsense with that endearing patience and a heavenly smile. I don’t think anyone would do that ever. You were my constant companion, someone who was always there for me, loving me unconditionally and holding my hand at the hardest of times. A tear trickles down thinking about all this. 

I admit, as the times went by and the burden of academic excellence gripped the students entering into their mid-teens, with the fearful thoughts of career and a prospective future, I ignored you. I started spending less time with you. Yet, you never complained. You never said a word. You continued smiling and whispering those words of encouragement in my ears with a smile on your face. 

And then one fateful day, you went away forever. The thought again brings tears but I know I have to control myself. You stopped breathing in my very own arms. You grew cold and stopped blinking your eyelids in front of my own eyes. I felt the coldness of your body hit me like a bullet-shot. I couldn’t believe it. I was in a daze. Were you really gone? Wont you talk to me ever again? Will I never see you again except in frames and memories? I was shattered more by my fault of ignoring you than by your absence.

It’s been five years now. A long time as I say. But the memories haven’t faded nor the thoughts been erased. Everything seems as fresh as dew. I know I have to move on and become a successful lawyer, and blah blah blah but yes I’ll always bear a regret. I wasn’t there with you when you needed me the most. I’m sorry and I feel awful for this. Yet I know, you in your endearing smile and with that calmness that you possess would forgive me readily and take me in your arms and love me once more. All I want to say now, I love you a lot and till the end of my life, you shall be the most cherished and loved person of my life. 

I miss you Grandma……..

Antra Banerjee

National University of Study and Research in Law, Ranchi

  1. dipzy says:

    well written anty..:)

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