A snippet from a life…

Posted: September 18, 2013 by Ankur in Writes...
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Its summer and I am cold. There is a guilt, a little loneliness spreading over love or just settling with the siblings.
I have a family where its hard for people to be happy and everyone is unaware about who I am. I get depressed as easily I get smiling. Keeping up my hopes has never been a problem, but there is a limit to someone’s positive attitude… How long can one expect to be unaffected of the turns? How long can one be expected to react to the word ‘chill’ instantaneously and remember the philosophical quotations on facebook and become happy? We share it on our profiles but it dosn’t work like that.

Right now I have many dear people in my life whom I am grateful for… but currently, fought with one, another is asleep, one is busy with his girlfriend, others I am not in close contact with… boyfriends are great options for situations where you want to talk your emotions and cry but here boyfriend is never available.

Everything is the way it should be… He is the perfect guy, there are no issues in the present or future, we are mad about each other and totally in In love. But somehow its dying… I dont care about the spark… Its allright but I can’t help it… Its unbearable… Its a hollow inside through which the wind is blowing and only I can hear it and it hurts so badly because I want it to be filled… I want to lie down and rest on it… I want to come back anytime and lie down on it when the world is crashing…Its my rock…it is not suppose to change and sand out. Where do I turn?

Its one of those nights, one of those moments that I decide to pendown… One of those times when you question everything and need someone to stay on the other side so you dont kill yourself from thinking too much. Where you are not sure whether you just miss it or want it back. Who am I? Am I too old for this world? I am not in the right place. Why do my relationships suck so much? Do I want to follow my dream or work for the people? What is my dream? I am scared to sleep with this questions… Because the dreams are a mix between haunting and tempting memories. If I don’t die right now… My dreams would strangle me. If I wake up tomorrow sane… I will be thankful for the sunrise.

Prachi Shah

National Law Institute University, Bhopal

prachishah.nliu@gmail.com

Comments
  1. Achal Singh says:

    Sometimes the busy life takes over and your special people forget to make you feel special.in times like those you need to hit their heads and tell me “i m special you forgot, but you can make it up to me now”

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