She never thought that sex in real life was any different from what they showed in American sitcoms. The only problem, or so she used to think, was to find a willing partner. If one had a willing partner, all would fall into place, they would show each other a good time and depart with dreamy sighs. Reality, alas, turned out to be different. Sex was dirty and the only pleasure it gave came with a tremendous amount of guilt. A willing partner was not the end of it. Was he right for her? Was he considerate and sensitive enough? Would he take nude pictures of her or record them together and post it online for the viewing pleasure of thousands of men hiding in their dark rooms? Could she trust him to not break her heart?
The emotional dangers crowded her mind so much that she forgot to worry about the more practical issues. She forgot about birth-control.
Although, she had had only had oral sex with her last partner, the internet told her that she could in fact get pregnant from dry-humping.
Her world shattered around her feet. What if she was pregnant? Where would she get the money to get an abortion? What if her parents found out? What if her friends found out? What if society found out? An unmarried, 18 year old, pregnant.
She woke up and rushed to the pharmacy to buy an emergency pill. She had to get over her nervousness and ask for an i-pill. The men stared at her, perhaps imagining themselves in place of her partner. She felt dirty and worthless.
A week later, all her fears were laid to rest and she decided to never take such a chance again.
Three weeks later, she was punished with another nagging fear. Her aunt, a doctor, remarked in passing that she had herpes. She wasn’t displaying any visible symptoms but not a lot of people with this virus did. The test would not give her a conclusive answer. She felt betrayed and hurt. How could her aunt say something like this to her and then not bring it up again. As a doctor, didn’t she owe her an explanation. She had no knowledge of her sexual history and yet she had said something like this. Did she not think about the effect such a statement would have on her?
And again, her life came to standstill.
Sam S
'Campus Writing' 