Best Friends, not Forever!

Posted: April 30, 2014 by Ankur in Contest, Writes...
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ContestDo you think of going against your family just to be with the one you love or to talk some extra time with your best friend? To what extent can you go to make your best friend happy, to be accepted and to be happy? Do you get the same care and love from your best friend in return? Have you ever ditched someone? Or have you ever being ditched by someone? How does it make you feel when your best friend backstabs/ditches you? Do you have appropriate answers to all these questions? 

Well, Divya does…

A bold, beautiful and bindaas Mumbai girl is deprived of love, care and acceptance. She is full of life, adventurous sports junkie and is everyone’s friend. And she could kill anybody if he/she hurt her best friend, Sunita. Far from home, she now believes and respects her parents and family. 
Will Sunita accept her fault and apologize to Divya? Will she ever stop playing the blame games and feel guilty for ditching her own best friend? 
This is a story of a girl, Divya, who was ditched by her own best friend, Sunita. What went wrong between the two? Love, friendship, crazy arguments, betrayal and blame games – there’s everything in this story.
Do we really reap what we sow? 
Well, let’s find out…it’s about the time…

She’s a “behenji-type”!
She was my sister, my best friend, my family. I met her the first time at our warden’s house. She was sitting there on the last bed in the second row with other two girls. The first thought that came to my mind was: ‘she’s a behenji type’. And so she can never be friends with me. But I didn’t know that the Almighty had planned something for me. Days later, we started talking, chatting, giggling, and teasing others. And then, by the end of two months, we were good friends. The late night studies, late night talks, gossips, bitching, anything and everything! It just didn’t stop. Actually nobody could ever stop us. As the time passed by, people started calling us a couple; as in we were always together. Together in hostel, in college, canteen, bunker’s point, library, corridors; although we were in different classes, as she was IT department while I was in IC department. Slowly and steadily we grew close and turned into best friends. I could th en hardly imagine my life without her. We never noticed anybody when we were together. Together we used to do all the fun, pranks, teasing games, chit-chats, bitching and every damn thing. 

It was 8th September 2009, I along with 5-6 other friends of mine, we all shifted to the college hostel. We had no other option but to stay at the warden’s place as there was no vacancy in the college hostel. We all shifted to the first floor of the hostel. Hostel was always fun. We were a group of eight girls; me, Karishma, Sunita, Shweta, Mansi, Shobha, Naina and Bhavisha. We had lots of fun at the first floor, as there was nobody except us; and the rest of the girls (students) had their rooms on the ground floor. 
One day, there was a small sort of cat fight between Sunita and Mansi. Girls!! I tell you. Eventually, Sunita decided to shift to my room and it marked beginning of our strong friendship. Since that day, we were quite best friends. 

Our hostel was situated at sector-25, Gandhinagar. It was almost equidistant to many places where we normally used to hang out. So, it was a nice location. Going out on Sundays, for hangouts, shopping, window shopping, fun at chaat corner, gardens, Infocity, etc., had always been fun time. With the same fun, we didn’t realize the end of first year. It was our second semester exams. Oh, exams went rocking and so were our results. Except Mansi and Bhavisha, everybody had cleared the exams. Unfortunately, my best friend and now roommate Sunita had two backlogs. We say, in Engineering, if you don’t get backlogs, then it’s not engineering. One must always get atleast a backlog to understand the gravity of the university board and pain of the fellow engineers. Tears didn’t stop and she cried some more. Damn, I couldn’t see her cry. Her smile was important to me and so was she. I decided to help her in those subjects as I had already cleared them in first se mester. It was hot may in summer 2010.

And then, we became BFFs !

A beautiful friendship for me was the friendship I had with her, the bond that we shared. There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature. When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. “I think if I’ve learned anything about friendship, it’s to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don’t walk away, don’t be distracted, don’t be too busy or tired, and don’t take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff right? Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. For me, she had that small beautiful world for me. She was my world. 

This is how it works. I love the people in my life, and I do for my friends whatever they need me to do for them, again and again, as many times as is necessary. For example, in this case she always forgot me and how much I had cared for her. So what I do for you as your friend is remind you who you are and tell you how much I love you. And this isn’t any kind of burden for me. Every time I remind you, which is my pleasure. We were getting closer. There was nothing in our lives that we didn’t share. From every bitching story to our dark secrets, and from our wild fantasise to our family problems, everything was shared. For, me she was the best thing ever happened to me after love. She was one of the greatest of all my friends till date. She was my best friend. Yes, best friend forever! Best friends are not whom you always hangout with. But they’re the ones, who, even if you don’t hang out with them, can still understand and care about you. She was my best friend, but maybe I wasn’t her best friend! She never fought for me with anybody the way I did when somebody just had scratched her in a game. Because for me, she was important. Her smile and her happiness were important. I was always there with her in all ups and downs, in every problem, even during exam results supporting her. But to my bad luck, she was never there for me. She was never there when I wanted her the most, when I wanted my best friend besides me, the most. Although she was there with me physically being my roommate, but she never understood me nor supported me when I wanted someone to hold onto, when I wanted a shoulder to cry on, when I wanted someone to stay with me in my bad times. I believed and trusted her blindly. And that was the biggest mistake that I’d done so far in my life. I now regret it. I now regret for trusting her so much and letting her break my heart while I was all into her, her friendship, our friendship. 

When I say it’s you I like, I’m talking about that part of you that knows that life is far more than anything you can ever see or hear or touch. That deep part of you that allows you to stand for those things without which humankind cannot survive. “I am glad you are here with me, here at the end of all things”, I said after our first fight followed by an immediate patch up. I hated fighting with her and hated to say such things to her. It gave me strength to have somebody to fight for; I could never fight for myself, but, for others, I could think of doing something. For her, I could kill anybody. I was absolutely mad about her, mad at her, I think. But for now, at least I knew such people, and they needed me, just like comets need tails. 

With age, the innocence of friendship fades away. The concept of best-friends-forever is purely imaginary. Although real in some cases. We grow, we change, and we make new friends, forget the old ones. The cycle repeats itself over again. And somewhere along the way, we find ourselves trapped among the fake people. Everyone has fake friends or are surrounded by fake people. People don’t love us for what we are, but for what they want out of us. Our parents are right when they say; it’s a selfish world out there. In those years, I never listened to them; never cared to give it a thought. But now it’s all true, was damn true because now I’ve realized and experienced it. But you simply cannot leave your friends and walk away, just because you know how fake they are. Now I greet and treat the people as they do. I don’t be nice to them either. I maintain distance. But I never let the bond die. Because I’m an emotional being and for me it’s a bit hard to break relations. I set my priorities and am with those who acknowledge me, those who have accepted me the way I am. I be with those who make me happy, be it just a handful of people. For life is too short to waste it on people who aren’t worth your time and emotions. 

For me, friendship is something different, something really beautiful, above all other relations. Friendship- my definition is built on two things- Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don’t have trust, the friendship will crumble. Day by day, my friendship with Sunita grew stronger. The more the peoplsaid anything to either of us, or to our friendship, the more it grew stronger. The bond was just unbreakable and divine then. One of the tasks of true friendship is to listen compassionately and creatively to the hidden silences. She was the answer to my every question, to my prayers. She was someone that I really couldn’t afford to lose. I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing up something we must learn. She taught me the meaning of life and friendship. She taught me every lesson of friendship, whether it is trust or respect. When you’re mad after somebody and when you really care for the person, you will never want people to say anything about them; let yourself say anything. I had almost destroyed all those relations in my life, with whom she had a problem with. Because for me, she was far too important. I wanted her to be with me, then and forever. I just couldn’t imagine my life without her, without her smile, her laughter, her abuses, her sweet lies, her hugs. She was everything that I wanted, that I longed for, my sweet best friend.

THE POST EFFECT
Sometimes, it does happen in your life at some or the other point, that you can’t utter a word when you have so much to tell it to someone. And even if you do so, there’s nobody to listen and understand it; that you can’t write it down when you have it in mind; that you can’t sing when there’s music in your heart; that you can’t dance when there’s rhythm in the air. It happens with everybody. And that’s life!

It really hurts when someone you trusted so much all this time, backstab you or ditch you and just throw you away from their life as if you’re the culprit and without listening to you or any and without even thinking about the consequences. This is exactly what she did to me. Nobody could ever do anything like this to her only best friend, or undergo the way I had. I was broken and shattered. We were great friends back then, one and a half years ago. Hangouts and shopping on Sundays were moving in a fast pace and so was our friendship. I started trusting her. Actually, I trusted her blindly with no intentions and demands. A trust and faith without any second thought. I didn’t care what she said to others or how she behaved with others. I only knew that she was too sweet with me as sugar, as always. 

It was December 2011 when I broke up with her, with Sunita. I had lost one of my best friends or maybe one of those fake friends whom I considered my best friends. It’s almost been more than an year now that we aren’t talking. We are no more on talking terms. We are no more FRIENDS on facebook and other social networks. Even now I don’t understand that part, the part that made her do all this. I don’t understand why the hell I was held responsible. I don’t understand why others ignored me. I just can’t believe that she blamed me for stealing her belonging, her E-Commerce book (4th SEM), to be more precise. I was sure and confident that no matter what, she would stand by me always, holding my hand as a friend in bad times. But I was so wrong. 

It’s been exactly a year since that incident. It’s been one year since we are not talking, since we are not facing each other. It’s been a year full of mysteries, odds, problems, joys and even tears but it has made me strong now. Such situations in one’s life make oneself strong enough to face any such situation or challenge. And it has made me quite strong. Nobody can ever think or nobody can ever imagine what I had been through since last one year. Sometimes you become careless of the things or circumstances you face in life, if you have good friends or boyfriend/girlfriend or family. Because you have that support in your life, that can take you away from any problem or any bad situation. There lies a kind of backup assurance. You share things or happening with your near or dear ones. But sometimes, it so happens that you can never share anything with anybody for any matter. You don’t even share it with your best friends. There are certain things that you want to keep it to yourself. You don’t want to tell it to anyone. 

Looking back those years, those two and a half years of beautiful relation, the pure friendship, the times that we had spent together, I just get emotional. Yes, I’m an emotional creature and have this habit of being with the same people throughout. I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life goes on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. 

I was completely broken and shattered that day. It was 25th of December 2011. It took a very long time for me to get over it. In the earlier days, when I used to look at her, I missed her. Then a few months later, when I used to watch her giggling and enjoying with her other friends, I didn’t react. And now when if I happen to see her by any chance, I just don’t like her. I don’t want to see her face again. I hate her now more than anything else in the world. I don’t believe in trust and people like her. I don’t want such people any more in my life now. I have moved on. I had to. But nobody knows what all I’ve undergone in these one and a half years of my Engineering. I don’t trust anybody because it leads to pain and finally breaks heart. It was my entire fault. It was never her fault; it was mine for believing every word that she spoke and for trusting her so much. It was my fault that I trusted her blindly.

Well, I’m just looking into different perspectives of life, glancing at my past, talking on my present and in the end of the day, preparing best for my future. This is my life, this is ME!

I regret now, I reget today, for not letting people know what exactly had happened. I stayed numb because I believed that even if I do tell them they wouldn’t listem to me or even believe me for what I say or what I am. 
The incident changed my life. It had changed me. Now, I’ve something to look forward to when I return back home. Yes, it changed everything, people around me. It has changed my personality as well. I hope one day she just realizes her mistake and make an apology to me. I do hope you guys there, reading my story, will surely raise up voice in such times in your life, as by not raisng your voice, by not speaking up, you’re not helping anyone, rather you’re harming your own self! 

Fingers Crossed!

PS – I’m good without her, but let’s just hope she gets this message!

People, do comment and send your feedback.

Dixita Goyal

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