The making of an artist…

Am not sure who to address it to..so to whom so ever it may concern…may read this. I have no idea what inspired me to write this, but I feel compelled. May be somewhere, around the corner of my heart, I want to let everyone know that pain might be ugly but it bears beautiful causatum. It bestows you with immense power…to create..to change..to make others see the world from your eyes. Though Gothic subjugates, but it is chivalric in its own eccentric way. I know this because I have felt, still do feel, its cogent pull..its hypnotic, narcotic. Irony isn’t it??..pain creates something so powerful that it kills itself..contextually though.

Like every girl I once had a life that I was content in..was all happy and proud about. A family that loved me, friends like sisters, most amazing friends around, and a guy I was head over head in love with and he to me..at least I thought so. Tragedy in common life comprises either of family or of love..mine was the later. we both lived in Delhi..he in Gurgaon..a media rep in a fancy firm..and me..an HR in another firm in Noida..these two places in Delhi seems like worlds apart when it comes to commuting. But we managed, in-spite of long distances and busy schedule, we always managed to squeeze time for each other. It was all magical. But magic had come to an end someday. It ended in a dramatic way. It was when I came back from a trip, and I decided to pay in a surprise to him. You must have guessed the rest of the story by now..yes, he was with some other damsel..some babe material, something that I neve r was. Too dumbstruck to react I just walked out. My phone rang and rang like a maniac..but I din’t pay a heed..I din’t want to. I din’t want to go home as yet, so I got down at Cannaught Place to wander aimlessly. No, this wasn’t what turned me into a famous writer. It was what fate had for me. I had a trip coming, to Mumbai, and I decided to immerse myself in work. I had put in a lot of effort and time, so the project went magnificently well. I felt tired, drained, and lonely. On an impulse I decided to take a stroll at Marine Drive..a decision that changed my life entirely. That evening there was a blast..at Marine Drive. And next thing I remembered was waking up at some hospital..with distorted face..ravaged body..and a more devastated self..I had no idea what to do..I lived low..bewildered and puzzled about what to do..I have been told surgery might not pull off my injuries..making me look unscathed…they were deep..intense and as bad as it could b e. They wondered how I even survived..I loathed why I even survived..I decided to go home..to my sanctuary..to hide..to heal. I did go there..only to be left more baffled..I was washed off my existence at home..had to be..I did not tell them I was alive..my mistake..My dad looked aged and extremely tired..I was his second loss after my mom. I wanted to run in to him..hug him and tell him I am alive..But something stopped me. I know, this sounds dramatic..almost like a daily soap. But what was I supposed to do..Be a daughter to him he will keep worrying about all his life?..be a depended to him?..A daughter..an ugly daughter he can’t even marry off?..No I was better dead that a burden..and a constant source of pity..How I have always hated that..I had to pull this off..somehow..And I knew Delhi had to be my shelter..I still had some cash reserve.

This was the beginning of my new life, the one I now live, the life of a celebrated anonymous writer…solitary, shaded, but unknowingly renowned. being educated in christian schools all my life..I had immense faith in Catholics.. ant that’s what made my home for a long time to come..I practically hid..in some hostel for women who needed support or help, run by mothers and sisters. They were incredibly supportive..never asked questions or provided answers unless asked. I read, and read, and wrote..journals..about almost everything..I found my solace in papers and words..And one find day..my mother angel came for my rescue..she, accidently , got hold of some of my journals..and then she read them all..driven by pain..full of experiences of life and sufferrings..and then we talked, about everything..from start till now. She made me agree to get it all published. It did..and rocked..sold like anything..brought me fortune..both fame and name..name as in..I wrote under the name of anonymous..I din’t want limelight..I wasn’t yet ready to go out as yet..may be I never will be..I was still dead to the entire world..and I wanted to stay that ways..I wrote to my heart contents..and earned..mother angel handled all my affairs. And so the days went by..and so did my life.

Every one moved on..it was almost a year..my guy..he was seeing off some other chick..my sisters were all settled..and my dad still looked old and tired..I decided to let him know of my existence…to him and him only..we met..we cried…we talked..but I kept my secret..I told him I am freelancing..and doing good..I will survive alone..and will be in touch..he understood the compulsion and importance. I was content..not happy..but content.

All m life when I was leading a normal life I wanted to be an artist..a writer to be precise..and now when life gave me what I wanted..i miss my normal life. Sometime I ll take a cup of coffee, watch rain fall down my window pane in my new bungalow..and remissness about past..about all the love and laughter I had..but it was pain that gave me what I desired..May be its not that bad after all..lonely..but not bad.

Anonymous…

Tanaya Nath

generationextcleopatra@gmail.com

http://tanayanath.blogspot.com/

What goes on in my mind…!!

“Mars kept its date with Earth on August 27, 2003. It came closest to the planet than it had for 60,000 years – a touching distance of 36.65 million miles. The last time this happened was in 57,537 B.C. And the next time it will happen is in 2287, when none of us would be here to record the event.” – This piece of news ignited a spark in my teenage mind and soon it was filled with a row of questions. These questions kept tickling my brain not only for the coming few days but changed the course of my thinking.

Questions like… “What is there in space?” , “How did the nine planets , the stars , the galaxy … in fact this whole universe came into being ? ” and the biggest mystery “Is there any human life in outer space ?”… started occupying a major portion of my thought chain. Soon I started looking for every possible opportunity to make myself acquainted with the new interest of my life. I took every possible route (news channels, newspapers, magazines) to quench my thirst . Thus began my romance with the “awesome world and complexity of universe”. The love in me for space science grew in exponentially and in consequence I began directing all my time and energy towards it. I planned to spend my whole life into it and thus started to go for Aerospace Engineering and later on join the family of ISRO (Indian Space Research Organization).

For four and a half years, I lived with one single thought – the space and the alien life. But as the saying goes … “Everything is pre-destined.” and I consoled myself with these words only when I failed to make it to the IIT’s and my dream of joining IIST(Indian Institute of Space Science and Technology) was shattered to pieces . Presently I am part of the software world vying to make a place for myself. As I struggle hard every day to keep myself abreast of the latest developments in the hardware and sof tware , some of my old school friends suggest to take the entrance test conducted by ISRO once I complete my degree . But I always wonder …”Am I still in love with it?” or “Has that feeling subsided or died?”…

Does the thought of joining ISRO still excites my nerve cells to the extent it did earlier? Or have the softwares occupied so much of me that I don’t have enough time to keep the zest alive. At this moment, I am still pondering over it while continuing to pursue my education in the field of computers. Well I am unable to decide whether the old love will survive the current rush of life. I am a mute spectator myself…!!!

Aaskti Panjiyar

Birla Institute Of Technology , Mesra (Patna Ext Center)

Because I am a GIRL?…

India is growing dynamically in every fields. Today, the boom in economy, innovative technologies and improved infrastructure has become nation’s pride. The country has witnessed advancements in all fields but bias against a girl child is still prevailing in the country. This social evil is deep rooted in Indian ethos and the most shocking fact is that the innovative and hard high end technologies are brutally killing the Indian girl child. Innovative techniques, like biopsy, ultrasound, scan tests and amniocentesis, devised to detect genetic abnormalities, are highly misused by number of families to detect gender of the unborn child. These clinical tests are highly contributing to the rise in genocide of the unborn girl child.

In today’s day and age most couples prefer the process known as a planned pregnancy, because of various factors; prime amongst them being the financial well being to support the birth and nurturing of a child. In such cases, the first prenatal visit actually happens prior to actual pregnancy, to see whether one is ready to go off the contraception pills and conceive a baby. 

However, in maximum conceptions, one is unaware of the pregnancy until actual realization dawns after one skips the first menstrual cycle. Normally doctors except ladies to pay their first visit anywhere between the sixth and twelfth week after conception. 

Amniocentesis started in India in 1974 to detect fetal abnormalities. These tests were used to detect gender for the first time in 1979 in Amritsar, Punjab. Later the test was stopped by the Indian Council of Medical Research but it was too late. The benefits of these tests were leaked out and people started using it as an instrument for killing an innocent and unborn girl child. Many of the traditional women organizations also took up cudgels to stop this illegal practice but all failed and with the passage of time these tests became a major contributor to bias against a girl child. 

Female feticide and infanticide is not the only issues with a girl child in India. At every stage of life she is discriminated and neglected for basic nutrition, education and living standard. When she was in the womb, she was forced to miss the moment when she was supposed to enter the world. At the time of birth her relatives pulled her back and wrung her neck. After killing her she was thrown into a trash can. 

During childhood, her brother was loaded with new shoes, dresses and books to learn while she was gifted a broom, a wiper and lots of tears. In her teenage, she missed tasty delicious food to eat and got only the crumbs. During her college days, she was forced to get married, a stage where illiteracy, lack of education resulted in high fertility rate, aggravating the condition of females in the country. Again if this female gives birth to a girl child, the journey begins once again. She missed all roses of life and was finally fitted to a graveyard. That’s where she got peace of mind. 

The nation of mothers still follows a culture where people idolizes son and mourns daughters. UN figures out that about 750,000 girls are aborted every year in India. Abortion rates are increasing in almost 80% of the India states, mainly Punjab and Haryana. These two states have the highest number of abortions every year. If the practice continues, then no longer a day will come when Mother India will have no mothers, potentially, no life. 

We all are proud citizens of India. The need of hour is to realize our responsibilities and give a halt to this evil crime. What can we do to curb the brutal and undesirable practice of mass killing girls? A determined drive can initiate a spark to light the lamp and show the world that we all are part of the great Mother India.

Mansi Ojha

International College For Girls

That Place Near The Metro Station…

I guess it was tradition . I was expected to follow my cousins and go for an undergraduate programme at the University of Delhi . And since I had displayed neither an aptitude nor an interest for machines or computers (except Facebook , of course) thus far , I had hardly any reason to say no to that notion . 

It is rather common for any guy my age to have heard of millions of stories about the University without even ever stepping foot there . I was no different . Probably , I could lay claim to even a bit more . (My father is a professor in the very same University) . So , on one hand , I had students complaining that most teachers never bothered to care, or worse , turn up for class , and on the other hand , I had professors like my father complaining that kids were more interested in the canteen than the class .

But both parties emphasized on one thing , what this University actually stood for — the branding , the chilled – out culture and the awesomeness . I ’ d soon discover that judgement to be spot-on .

In the mad deluge of marks this year , I too had secured a great aggregate . One that could get me into most colleges of my choice . But , I chose a path few expected me to take . I chose an offbeat course . Earth Sciences in Hansraj College . To the surprise of many , and even amusement of some . To me , it held promise .

Once my admission was over and done with , the days leading upto the 1st day were a pain . There were entire days of nothingness , and then there were random plans of hanging out at a variety of places . From the exhilarating (Chandni Chowk) to the downright bizarre (Federation of Gamers).

The 1st day of college , 21st of July , was here and I had neither a makeover nor a new wardrobe . Maybe the big ‘’ End of Season SALE !! ’’ hoardings on most brands didn’t entice me enough .

I found like – minded excited ‘fuchhas’ on the metro station itself . Everybody had really thought hard about dressing up . Yes , there were a few fashion disasters , but most of ‘’us’’ were looking great .

The day in college was unadventurous, but expected. We were greeted by confusion, chaos and half-built classrooms . Even the introduction with seniors (a .k.a. ragging) came with a disclaimer . “It is not intended to hurt sentiments . Any awkwardness or embarassment caused is deeply regretted”.

I came across a strange incident in the canteen that day . Two guys were bragging about how much they had been to the gym in the holidays and how good they now were in arm – wrestling . Obviously , the catalyst here was a group of girls standing alongside . Suddenly , one of them took out his wallet and kept the only note present in the wallet on the table . No prizes for guessing that it was a thousand – rupee note . It was now a bet . A few tall claims were made by both interested parties , but ultimately nothing came out of it . The thousand – rupee note was swiftly withdrawn , and nobody even got to see them arm wrestle . What a shame .

At the end of the day, sitting in the Metro , where I even got a seat (Hint: Always look out for the last compartment.), I thought to myself that this was maybe just a trailer for things to come . The drama hadn’t even started… 

Manan Bhan

University of Delhi

My First Day In Office…

Shortly after graduation, when the strains of Pomp and Circumstance have begun to fade into the past and when I realise that its now time to work, and it is time for you to start the next phase of life; I finally began my first “real job.

“My official first day of work at WIPRO office began with a 15 minutes walk from KORAMANGLA MAIN ROAD to the WIPRO OFFICE. Its been months together, I was not used to get up early in the morning and go anywhere. Staying at my cousins house, just opposite to WIPRO office SARJAPUR, i had to travel all the way to KORAMANGLA today – this cold morning. Reporting time for me and our batch was at 7:00 am today. Dressed properly in formals, I reached KORAMANGLA at abt 6:30 am.

Lots of people were waiting outside and I too had to join them. The only person whom i knew very properly was HARISH CP, my hostel room mate, project mate, class mate, branch mate etc. He had already reached there with his parents. So many parents too were standing with their children. Some parents were from a far off place, while some were from Andhra and Tamil Nadu. A few local residents of Bangalore too had turned out, accompanying their wards or relatives.

For a second i felt that it was some first day in LKG or Class 1 with most of them wearing new dress and formals and stuff, parents waiting outside with their ‘kids” and bags in one hand..and that “eager” which existed then. Some people were standing with parents, some had already formed groups, some knew each other before and some were talking and messaging over the phone…most hopefully with the closest ones.

And there i stood watching everyone. With loads of questions and anxiety in every one’s mind, I could see a smile with eager ness in everyone. Excitement was all around. New place, new friends, new office and the most important thing…its the start of another “big chapter” in life. Being lousy by nature and attached too much with my College, tears rolled in my eyes as only today I felt that the previous chapter “COLLEGE LIFE” got over.

We all entered the WIPRO office and were asked to stand in a queue and collect temporary ID cards. We had to show our joining letter and a valid photo proof. Greeting and meeting new people in that morning cold was fun. But I should say that people are really nice and welcoming here. Hospitality was appreciable. Weather is also quite nice and cold-like thing…;-) Friendly familiar faces, unfamiliar names all around. I had spotted a small yellow butterfly dancing in between the green bushes. For a while, I stopped and admired a piece of nature that is considered as rare when one works in town. Considering all things, this wasn’t bad.

Finally i found a place to give rest to my a**, a place to sit in other words as we were asked to board a bus to head to SARJAPUR WIPRO OFFICE. We boarded a bus and reached the SARJAPUR WIPRO office, boarding that bus reminded me of going for TOURS and picnic with family and friends (kind of college tours). Within some 20 minutes, we reached SARJAPUR office. Though there were shorter ways to reach the AUDITORIUM (where our orientation was scheduled), we were taken in a longer route.( may be to show the campus).

The session started with instructions and certificate verification and stuffs at about 8:20 am. We were all sitting as if we joined school first day ( finger on the lips was missing ! ! ! ). Some four out sourced instructors were ordering and guiding us. I was so discombobulated and it was clear yet so confusing.

We were all seated in the auditorium. Process started, instructors instructed again and again. Spent most of my day, by filling up the forms (A formality on the first day…). Some PF returns, Permanent address, gratitude money, Pension etc were part of forms which we filled. Trust me I was totally “………”off on writing the same thing again and again and signing each form. Yet we had too,,cause those were “part and parcel” of “joining formalities”. The auditorium was a great one..with BOSCH speaker and cameras etc all around. It was nicely built. Hats-off to the decorator. It’s a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn’t consult him. If so, he would still be picking the colors…hahaha…cause things were too colourful..the walls, the backdrops, pics and images outside at the lobby etc.

I could very well sense the energies emanating from within and the excitement of getting in touch with several people whom we campus-youth commonly termed as “ Corporate”. I kept on jogging my memory about the golden rules regarding the behavior that a new joiner should keep in my mind which I usually termed as “Corporatism”.Now since I have already entered into the premises, need not say this huge building of Bangalore- SARJAPUR with a world class infrastructure had already convinced the right hemisphere of my skull about the size and brand of the company. I was indeed amazed to see how only the processes not the people can run these big enterprises, with man power not more than the slaves to these processes and applications.

To tell the rest , who are keen and eager to join WIPRO soon. You got to have following… 10th and 12th 40%, UG and PG- 60 %. Passport is needed or even acknowledgement (mention of FILE number) will do. PAN CARD AND ADDRESS PROOF is a must, certificates- all semesters indidual and PROVISIONAL certificate is a must.

TEA BREAK was given and breakfast too was served by them… but only sandwich… which too all of us at that time looked great because of the “cosy” environment and as all were hungry too. Standing in queue..not longer though , we all had breakfast and came back to our seats in the auditorium. One by one went to the stage – near Dias where, they were sitting and documents were verified and xerox of all documents were submitted. Some not having xerox were given a option of photocopying in the campus itself… Wow free of cost… But trust me, its not safe to give all our original documents to them to xerox… originals might get lost anytime… Its better to get the XEROX when we come itself.

Within lunch time, all (most of us) had completed the document verification and the “messy” things had all settled. We were given lunch tokens, to have meals in the Cafeteria 1. Now searching that cafeteria itself took lot of time for us, at the campus at SARJAPUR is too big and has some seven cafeterias with seating of 5000 people at a time.

Post lunch, we came back to the same auditorium and were seated again. All was in an obligatory mode of not knowing what to do. While some were busy taking with their loved ones,,and some were chatting,,,i kind of dozed off…or may be slept totally. I has asked HARISH sitting by my side to wake me, just in case instructors had come…but when i woke up in some half an hour, he too was sleeping. All were tired as day had started at about 5:30 am for all of us and the food, AC room etc had all contributed to the sleep. Some were listening to songs wearing their headsets, a few were putting their phone on charge, but most of them to me seemed sleepy.

Most of us were going out, drinking water…bathroom…etc…..not knowing what to do and how to pass the remaining time. Some girls were busy as usual in their “girly gossips” and guys too were forming groups and taking. Some had glued their eyes to the insructor and did not know what to do…things looked fascinating. Giggles and gossips here and there…some were teased and some were teasing… Instructors themselves were not knowing what had to be done after that , as the concerned HR person did not turn out today.

It was tea time again, COOKIES and GOODDAY biscuits- that nuts flavour was served (as always it happens in INDIA- more demand and less supply). Early birds got everything and the late comers were a bit unlucky. It was more of a “BRAKE” than a “BREAK”( clauses to be noted plz.).

We were then seated again, as instructions were given for reporting in ELCTRONIC CITY WIPRO on monday along with “free’ bus service and bus route details etc. Details of real estate agents too were provided. We were all to leave, when the security came and instructed us to be seated again. After some ten minutes, the instructors came just to tell that buses were ready to drop us back in the KORAMANGLA office. My house being just opposite to SARJAPUR office, i walked home with these memories.

Now..lets see..!

We were totally exhaused it was almost 7 PM and just reached home by 7.10 PM fully drenched and finally thought MAN WHAT A LIFE I HAVE CHOSEN !!!!

With loads of hope on the company I choose WIPRO and hope it grows big..and also contributes to my growth…..

Guru Kumaraguru Loganathan

WIPRO