People vary, their interests vary, they tend to do different things, they to behave differently to situations, live life according to their desires, make most/least out of it but mine was to look after others with self imitation. My life has been ambiguous all through the years before I met a person who changed my life and deprecated my past & made me kind of normal .
It should begin with my childhood days. A kid brought up in joint family, I was never a pampered one. From the starting itself I had a streak of working independently, stand alone in crowds, and work against all odds. My dad has always been living away from home owing to his job, which in turn inspired me to work independently so that my mom could at least be carefree from my front. I had personality problems with people, not because I found myself superior or inferior to them but because I could not gel up well with owing to their mode of working or behaving. I used to retain a sense of morality and respect with whatever I did or participated in. This was due to immense peak pressure from my family side. They were bit too prone to values and ethics, which in turn turned me into a believer. As with everyone, my school days had a flavour of both ups & downs. I did not make many friends in school though, which is quite not obvious.
As I grew up, my spirituality factor too heightened. However, spirituality I believed has been violating forms of society. For me sitting in churches, gurudwaras,temples etc., wont serve any purpose until and unless you are adhering to the teachings of God. For greatest worship is worshipping mankind. Lately, when my sense of realizing and thinking diversified I found a similar kind of story in each house. I saw people dragging out their parents from their house just because their spectacle cost has risen. I ask people, Is this believe you possess or are these the teachings which our temple gave? I found a kind of relation, the more frequent the person is to temples ;more are his agonies towards others (specially parents). I also found that I cannot generalise the things so easily as there are some people who are working for the cause of mankind and are spiritual enough.
Even the largest contributors towards mankind are the people who firmly believed on God. Believe is another factor on which I ponder. A belief is a sense of understanding which should be backed up by personal practical experiences and actions. My mind went in dilemma; I could not concentrate on anything and screwed my exams. However, after clearing my +2 , I secured admission in a good Tech-School. My bitterness for understanding peace and spirituality did not end here. I behaved in college as I did school, ignorant to people around me. A factor which significantly changed my life is my love life. I met a girl who had clear cut intentions and crystal clear ideas towards life. For here for question doesn’t expect an answer. Every misery in this world is not because of what is happening around us. Every pain we see around can be eliminated by a bit change which we should initiate. Group incidences changed me. I started being normal, pondering less, and working towards my focus.
There has been another aspect of my life. I have never been extraordinary in anything. I was termed all along my school and college life as “Jack of all trades, but master of none”. Even though people who knew me , valued me. I always got deserving praise. People use to get inspired by the facts I used to barge on them during free times. I have been making time tables for my college and school friends, I was considered best at it (However I myself never followed it . This has been my life all through, much in and much out, there is much left to be done, to be explained and to be lived…
Bhaskar H. Narula
'Campus Writing' 