Posts Tagged ‘Feelings’

Convivial Relationships

Posted: August 22, 2014 by Ankur in Contest, Writes...
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What’s being a friend when you’re not there for each other at your worst?

This quote above just passed me by in a column I was reading with just an eye open, and soon as they hit my head, I couldn’t stop my thoughts from running helter-skelter.

Sometimes, it’s so hard being who you are and finding who you are, that maintaining friends becomes a little tricky! Somehow I always have managed to get some real personalities – maybe by people pleasing, or being goofy – who till date I etch onto. There are so many instances in my short life of 20 years that I have witnessed such humbleness of these wretched souls that it’s scary.

We all have certain traits and the beauty of being friends with different humans is the end result. It’s such a beautiful amalgamation of emotions, so raw and undermined. That sort of understatement is what everyone longs and it beckons everyone in the back of the head, like a burning sensation.

We all crave that sort of a relationship with a soul, where there is no surreptitious behavior, no malice and any kind of negativity. One said truly that when you have good friends, you don’t need any other mean of entertainment. Such joys, of having that person in your life where you can be goofy and still not give a damn is so appealing to me, and I guess anyone. Because let’s face it, no one likes to be judged!

My own friends are such drastic ends of a spectrum, they’re scattered in every dimension I can think of. Some, have famously become infamous, and the others, well, are still with me. I’m picky about the people I like to hang around because it is indeed disheartening to have someone be your friend and use your name in a derogatory manner. I think that sort of a negative environ is not and should not be entertained.

Rants after rants, I can say that I love myself more than my friends I’ve come to a conclusion that I owe so much of my personality to these souls I’ve come across because, it is of their immense criticism and clandestine behavior, I am what I am.

And I’m happy that this essay has no head and no tail, because I feel when you plan what you want to write, it becomes sketchy. I like it that it is crude, fibrous, and callow because for me, that is the essence of friendship.

Here’s to being a friend, forever and ever

Devesh Baheti

Institute Of Aeronautical Engineering

Mixed Emotions

Posted: June 17, 2014 by Ankur in Writes...
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Its like we were stuck in a quandary,
Bored out of limits or any boundary.
Stuck in a room where it hurts to breathe,
Had no option but to grind our teeth.

Numb in the brain, weak in the head,
It was painful to even get out of bed.
Didn’t have nobody to speak to, nobody to complain,
Only hearing the noises of cars, buses and train.

To come undone with a change in attitude was all I needed,
Eh! what was I thinking? Was I weeded?
To be who I am today is all I wanted,
Though I was penalised, teased and taunted.

Change is good is what they say,
But I’m not changing.. Even if they may.
Because I’ve dreaded too far to be myself today,
So this is my place, and I’m here to stay.

Abhishek Mantri

Angel in Dark

Posted: April 23, 2014 by Ankur in Contest, Writes...
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ContestA girl cant hide the tears in her eyes,
Nor she can tell anyone about her cries.
But i don’t know why she has to lie,
About all the pain and suffering in her life.
Why she has to wear such a fake smile,
And disguise everyone passing by….

I have been with a lot of girls,
some came for love and some for lust.
But still i can’t discover their world,
which is still an alien Universe….

The only thing which comes in my mind,
whenever i see this alien kind.
Is the tide of sadness in their eyes,
which they cant hide from all their lies…

I wish i can change their past,
Cos that what moulds their present hour.
It makes them hide all their pain,
Cos they were hit by a tragic train.
Still i wish they could move on,
And trust someone else with a love tone.
But this is the thing they are afraid of,
Which makes them diff frm this world n so…

Chitrank Sheemar

Delhi Technological University

Its been 2 years or some 3 odd semesters as I sit down to write this letter. 2 years since the day I first noticed you. 2 years since my metamorphism. In retrospect, it seems a long time. However, it flew by so fast. I felt sand slipping out of my hand- uncontrolled and inevitable. But before we step into a new world altogether, I want you to know something. Something clandestine. Something that I have been negating since day 1 to everyone. I want you to know that you matter to me. Probably the most in this foreign land.

I love the way you do everything. The way your wisps of hair fall on your face and you keep tucking them behind your ears, the way you make gestures with your hand while speaking, your green salwar suit which emanates your divinity. Yes, I noticed, I noticed everything about you. I am sorry but I couldn’t stop myself from doing that. I never witnessed what people call as true love, but I want to tell now if they mean falling in love means always thinking about that one person, then I am in love; if they say falling in love means that you never see any other face and just yearn and wish to see that one face, then I am in love. I don’t know whether I love your cherry coloured lips more, or those dreamy beautiful a little tired eyes or those playful hands or those flowing legs or rhythmic melody of your voice or that cheery countenance which effuse like a balmy breeze in your presence.
I know I am not perfect. Not even near to perfection. No, I don’t play guitar, neither can I write you romantic poems nor can I compose and record songs for you. I can’t make beautiful sketches for you either. Believe me, I would have loved to do any of the above things, but I Can’t. 

See, I can be your best partner in rain dance. I can increase your platelets count and make sure it never falls. I can be your best company to the long drives and street foods. I can be all ears whenever you want to do the talking. I will make sure you cry, cry a lot (laughing). If you are cindrella, I can be your lost shoe. I love you.

(P.S. I still have this mail in my draft box. I know we were never meant to be together hence i never pressed the send button. Whatever, I have learned to live up with this unrequited love.)


IIT Kharagpur

Dont know how long is it!
That i have to resist everything.
Hide all the truth in my heart.
Every time we meet
Every time you turn to me
That I pretend to be still

Do you know how much I have to force myself..
Can you hear that???
But I can’t reveal my true feelings to anyone…
Can only hope you will know it someday 

Though I hate you,
Though I don’t want to see you
But deep inside I’m not brave enough to tell
That how much I miss u…

Everytime we meet
Every time you turn to me
When our eyes met,
I expected love in it..
But you always hurt me….

Don’t you have any idea how much I force 
You can’t feel it…


Main daudta hua Kolapur station par pohncha, wahaan meri train ” Kolapur Express” Lucknow jaane ke liye khadi thi. Tabhi TT ne green flag dikha diya and main bhagta hua train me chad gya jabki mere pass koi ticket bhi nahi tha, aur chada bhi toh kahan A.C coach me…!!

India me sab kuch JUGAAD, PEHCHAAN and CORRUPTION ke dam par ho hi jata hai, yeh baat main boht ache se jaanta tha, isiliye itna nishchit tha. Main khud corruption ko badhava nahi deta but uss din mera Lucknow jana boht hi zaruri tha. Mere dad ki tabiyat kaafi naazuk thi and maa bhi ghar par akeli thi isiliye maine ” PITRI DEVO BHAVA” ko mahatva diya aur seat no. 5 par let gya. Kuch der baad mere saamne ek mahashay apne doston ki toli ke saath akar baith gye. Sundar si dress aur nawabi andaaz dekh kar main samajh gya ki bhaiyaji Lucknowi hai. Thodi der baad unhone apna khane ka basta khola aur sabhi doston mein baatne lage. Samose , Kachori aur Mithayon ki bharmaar thi. Khane-pine ke kaafi shaukeen lag rhe the. Aakhir me mujhse bhi puch liya, ” Arre Bhaiya..! Bimar ho ka..? Lete kahe ho..? Baith jao tanik batiyaao humse, Lo samosa khao..! ” Unke chehre ki muskaan dekhkar main mana nahi kar paya. Kya pata woh mere dad ki bimari ke baare me jaan gye the..? Unhone fir pucha ,” Itni chinta mein kahe ho…? ” Maine unhe apne dad ki haalat ke baare me bataya but woh santusht nahi hokar puche, ” Puri bimari ke baare me batao..? “

Mere saamne dad ka chehra agya and aankhon se aansu chalak pade, yeh dekhte hi unhone mere kandhe par haath rakh diya, maine bola, ” Unhe BLOOD CANCER hai..!” and I started crying like a five year old. Pura mahaul tense ho gya, Unhone kaha ,” Chinta mat karo..Bhagwaan sab thik kar denge..!” And then he hugged me very tightly. Unke ek dost , who considered himself very smart, immediately bole ,” Bhagwaan bharose kuch nhi hoga , Inhe ek ache doctor ki zarurat hai..! Bhagwaan par toh mera vishwas hi nahi rha. Agar woh hote toh apke Pitaji ko CANCER thodi hota..! Kya unme itni bhi daya nahi.”  Bhagwaan me logon ki naastikta dekh mujhe boht dukh hua, Tab tak main dad ke gham se bhi bahar agya tha aur unki baaton ko dhyaan se sunne laga. Woh sab aapas me bol rhe the, ” Jo dikhai nahi deta, Jo kabhi nahi milta, Jisse baat nahi kar sakte , Usko kaise accept karle..? Kaise maan le ki woh hai..? “

Main unki baatein ek dam patiently sunta rha, Jab sab chup ho gye, toh maine kaha,”Mahashay..! Kya aapki shaadi ho gayi hai..? ” He said, ” Haan..! Aur do bachche bhi hai..! ” Itne mein TT sahab agye aur humari baaton ko dhyaan se sunne lage, Main bhi itna busy ho gya tha ki bhul hi gya ki TT sahab wahan par the. Maine bola,” Kya aap apni wife and bachchon se niswarth prem karte hai..? “

” Haan karta hun..! Boht pyaar karta hun..!” Phir main bola, ” Yahi toh ishwar ka roop hai..! Woh ek meim anek hai, anek mein ek hai..! Aap bhi naastik nahi hai, bas aap shyad bhagwaan ke anek roopon se parichit nahi hai..! VISHWAS, AASTHA, PREM, NISHKAAM KARMA..! Yeh prabhu k bhin bhin roop hai..! Kya kabhi apne in sab ko raaste par ghumte dekha hai..? Kabhi baat ki hai..? Kabhi mile hai..? Phir bhi aap yeh sari cheezen accept karte hai. Puri duniya mein aisa koi insan nhi jo isse juda ho. Jiss tarah aap hawa ko dekh nahi sakta but you can still feel it, the very same way there is THE ALMIGHTY..! Unhe aap har pal apni zindagi mein mehsus kar sakte hai…!

Dudh se makhan mathne par nikalta hai..! The very same way when u centrifugate the soul of a person , You find HIS presence..! Iss tarah se dekhe toh iss duniya mein koi bhi nastik nahi hai, its just that people are not aware of the differnt forms of HIM..!

TT sahab yeh baat sunkar, boht impress huye and he didnt fine me a single penny..! Moreover, He made a ticket for me..! Baaki log bhi vaad vivad ke baad shaant ho gye, aur mera station agya..!

Jab main ghar pohncha toh mere dad aakhri saansein le rhe the….

Main unka haath pakadkar bola,” Pitaji..! Bhagwaan itne dayawaan kyun nahi hai..? Apki bimari thik kyun nahi kar dete..?”

Woh bole,” Pagle..! Unki hi toh daya hai ki marne se pehle tera chehra dekh liya, aur yeh toh mere karmon ka fal hai, ISME BHAGWAN KA KYA DOSH..? And it is just the soul leaving the body..!

Unhone mere sar par haath rakha aur unki aankhen band ho gyi….

Main unhe dekhta reh gya…unka haath mere sar se girne laga…lekin maine usse pakad liya aur apne sir par fir rakh diya…

Yeh sab dekh kar meri MAA shock ho gyi, aur foot foot kar rone lagi..! Phir thodi der baad meri aankhon se aansun girne lage aur unke seene pa sar rakh kar, I hugged him very tightly and I could only echo his last words..!

Anupam Mishra

Sir Padampat Singhania University, Udaipur

in collaboration with Elements, SPSU Udaipur

TOPIC: What I Learnt in those 5mins

‘Sorry’ is a little word for whatever happened…
I walk everyday wid dreams dat shattered…
There are many whom i foed or friended…
U are a dear one whom i never offended…

Somewhere sometimes u get wounded by my scars which didnt healed…
I took a moment of joy from u …so thats why i kneeled…
My dear friend im glad u adjusted…

U indeed are a dear one whom i never offended…!!!

Abhishek Kumar
Sir Padampat Singhania University,Udaipur

in collaboration with Elements, SPSU Udaipur

TOPIC: What I Learnt in those 5mins

As the golden day passes by…
My urge to see you makes me cry…
Cruel sun… shines harsh on me
And evenings are on what not to be
Midst of all what makes me see
Your buttery eyes the joy for me
From morning seven to evening nine
More tears roll down but I am fine
Why is it so difficult for you to feel?
What’s inside me and urges u to appeal
They make me crazy I try not to see
Your buttery eyes d joy for me
I know it well I’m not the one for you
That day will come which ends blue
Am I deaf or blind to see?
What’s shouting within n wants to get free
Or is it you who’s binding me…
Your buttery eyes d joy for me
The questions are more and answers few
That black in me grew and grew
All those ugly shades of colour
My spirits getting as more duller
What only puts me on and on
Is the melody of your hearts chiffon
My only thing and hope of glee
Your buttery eyes… The joy for me

Abhishek Kumar
Sir Padampat Singhania University,Udaipur

Contest :  It will heal with time ;Maybe|

in collaboration with Elements, SPSU Udaipur

Our Paradise

Posted: August 18, 2012 by Ankur in Writes...
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From the whitewashed paradise 
back to the worldly filth,
I reflect back on the days we were wise. 
Drenching oneself in the flakes
allowing the nature to keep the sins at stake
the frenzy of washing down the earth began
and all we could do was stare blank in the air.
The ice melted at the touch of our skins
whooshing voice of the cold air numbing the ears, pulled out our sins.
Opening our arms wide,
letting go of every mental filth we contained
a visit to the paradise was what we had made.
The warmth was shared,
the fresh eyes now cared,
the void was now filled,
the inner turmoil now killed,
standing tall at thousands feet high,
we finally let the nature and our souls to tie.
Deepali Moray




Scarlet Dreams

Posted: April 25, 2012 by Ankur in Writes...
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The sun goes down ‘midst a golden gleam,

They’re holding hands in her scarlet dreams.

They range from past and present scenes,

Of people met and places been.

Another day and maybe more,

Of undying faith and forgiven scores.

From an angel’s touch and a poet’s eyes,

That speaks true love and never lies.

The clouds part away to show the stars,

She stares at them through his guitar.

She smells the air- he sings his song.

And he promises he won’t be gone.

While plucking chords and pulling strings,

And tying together her favorite things.

He pins her photos on his wall,

And weaves a story with ’em all.

The freckled bark of garden trees,

The morning dew on baby leaves.

The sound of air on troubled chimes,

And his voice, engraved in her mind.

She hasn’t looked- and it’s been a while,

At every little thing that makes her smile.

But amidst a play of sighs and bliss in reams,

They’re moving on with their scarlet dreams.

Sam Banerjee