Coming back from college , i sit in the auto , my hair tied in a bun and i open a sandwich to kill the hunger . The damn traffic spoils the mood anyway . But today it is much worse . So, i take out my hand notebook and start penning down my thoughts.
Okay , as i just start up , a small little boy comes to me begging for the sandwich . Can’t afford to give you the whole , i thought to myself . So, i gave him a 10 rupee note to feed himself. Okay , so as the auto is struck in this traffic which leads to no where , i think – ” Are the people that much Happy as they seem ? “.
Hmmm , after the much needed calculations i come to a conclusion . People are not that much happy as much as they seem to be . But because , when they see other people around , they think everybody around is happy , except them . So, like the other people , they put on a Mask which reads – ” I AM SO HAPPY “.
But , they forget that they can fool people with the fake smiles but as they say – the eyes say it all. So ,you must be thinking what made me to reach to a conclusion so fast ? Yes , i have an answer to this as well. Because, the same question i asked to myself . Am i that much happy of what i pretend to be ? The spontaneous answer is – NO.
Now, I am not saying here that I am not happy at all. But not that much happy that I tell people I am. I miss granny, miss home like hell, miss ” many ” people at times , freak out at moments , feel disgusting when i go out for shopping and have to just console myself with the third best thing present , because i know dad is not here to pay my bills , and I just let it go after seeing the price tag .
Many other reasons as well , I resent a lot of things you did , feel hurtful when i sometimes think of the mistakes i did in the past . So, i can count the umpteen number of things which give me a reason not to be that much Happy .
But , this doesn’t mean that i am not happy; it just means i get freaked out at times and nobody until now could figure out that i thought about the listed things as well.
Likewise, everyone has some dark hidden secrets which they never tell anybody about. And they bury them deep inside. That is not the reason why they are actually not happy, but because for the fact that never confess it in front of anybody and hence to the world – Wear a Mask of being Happy !
I was in the same situation until i talked and shared about my problems . Don’t hide and be some other person behind whom you wanna hide . Accept what you are and trust me you will actually realize that you are happy . If you don’t have problems then you might be not normal ; if you have you are – Absolutely fine.
More of it i can think , but the traffic has almost been cleared up . The little boy sitting next to me is smiling at me . He might be thinking of me as a pretty serious and studious girl . But i have something else going on in my mind . I wish he is that much happy of what his smile reflects , Hope he doesn’t wear a Mask!
Sanyukta Sharma
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